Real Black Women

It is always interesting to me who we allow to get away with what things – if they’re rich enough, desirable enough, funny enough, or popular enough, we give them a pass on just about anything. I’ve seen that today with Mr. Emo Black Thot.

Social media, to an extent is about branding. I know this, and I’m never mad at anyone tryna secure their bags. But when does branding transcend into straight up lying? If your persona online is faking a race, faking a gender, faking a hoe aesthetic – it’s not a fucking brand. It’s a fucking lie. I want to be very clear when I say this: pretending to be a black woman when you are not a black woman is misogynoir. Queer men do not get a pass to do this, no matter how feminine presenting they are. If you are not a Black woman, you cannot say you are. To do so is to take away from Black girlhoods, to infiltrate spaces not meant for you to be in, and to profit (even if it’s social capital) off of a struggle you can’t claim you experience.

The craziest thing about this reveal is that Paper Mag collaborated with this person who pretended to be a Black woman – what does this say about them? I’m radical in the sense that I think that giving someone capital and a platform to perform their misogynoir is you also agreeing with their mysognior. So, Paper Mag, I’m looking at you for allowing this nonsense, too.

While periods are not exclusive to women, going as far to claim you’re having one to appeal to that version of womanhood is…sick. How do we, as people who claim to support and uplift Black woman, cape for this person? It’s ironic, because in his quest to listen to Black women, him taking up space in circles meant for Black women made him so, so loud to the point where we can’t hear the people he’s trying to advocate for.

And what about the money that was given to him by people thinking he was a Black queer woman? Will he give that back? That, to me, is accountability. But I have a deep feeling y’all are not going to ask him for that type of justice because…well…

Y’all are so sympathetic to this boy. A boy lies to the world, takes money meant for Black women, people critique it, and suddenly this boy is the victim. Have we forgotten about Black women already? His “pain” is being centered in this debacle when he is not, and never will be, the recipient of his misogynoiristic actions. And that is the most powerful example of cis Black manhood as a system I have ever seen.

The pandering to Black women, specifically queer Black women, was specifically used to deceive and that cannot be disputed. “What do men talk about in their groupchats?” I’m sure he could tell us since, well, he is a Black man. We condemned MadLatinaThot for stealing from Black women content creators – but were we right? Because, technically, MLT was stealing from a Black man. We defended this fraud and in the process he made us look dumb.

I’m tired of everyone, and I mean everyone, cosplaying as Black women. Especially when there are actual Black women who are struggling – praying someone gives them a few dollars for food, having their womanhood disregarded…there are real, breathing Black trans women being murdered for being Black women but if you’re a cis Black man pretending to be a Black woman online you don’t have to worry about that. You can log off and resume the male privilege that you get in real life. I encourage us all to remember these real, living Black women today, to honor them by sending to their Cash Apps and by supporting their work. Black girlhood cannot and will not be co-opted by fucking men. 

Today, speak to real Black women. Ask them how they’re doing. Remind them that their magic and experiences are their own and are unique to their Black girlhood. Ignore this man. He has taken up enough of our time and thoughts.

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